In IT leadership, servant leadership isn’t about being passive—it’s about actively clearing the path for your team to deliver. And nowhere is this more powerful than in 1 on 1 meetings for the servant leader. These aren’t status updates disguised as check-ins. They’re your primary tool for listening deeply, removing obstacles, and growing your people amid sprint chaos, incident fatigue, and relentless stakeholder pressure.
Servant leaders in technology organizations understand that psychological safety drives innovation. Your 1:1s are where that safety is built—or broken.
Key Takeaways
- 1 on 1 meetings for the servant leader prioritize the team member’s agenda, blockers, and growth over status reporting.
- Effective servant-leader 1:1s follow a structured 30–45 minute format with clear time boxes.
- Pre-meeting preparation and post-meeting follow-through are non-negotiable.
- Remote and hybrid IT teams require intentional relationship-building in every session.
- Consistency matters more than perfection—weekly cadence builds trust over time.
Why 1 on 1 Meetings for the Servant Leader Work in IT
Traditional 1:1s in IT often devolve into project status updates you could get from Jira. 1 on 1 meetings for the servant leader flips the script. You’re there to serve—to listen, unblock, coach, and advocate.
According to Gallup research on employee engagement, managers who prioritize regular, meaningful conversations see higher retention and performance. In IT environments—where on-call rotations, technical debt, and vendor coordination create friction—your 1 on 1 meetings for the servant leader becomes the release valve.
Servant leaders use these meetings to:
- Identify hidden blockers (tooling gaps, cross-team dependencies, burnout signals)
- Coach through complexity (architectural decisions, stakeholder conflicts, career pivots)
- Build psychological safety so engineers surface problems early, not during postmortems
This isn’t soft skill theater. It’s strategic leadership that protects delivery velocity and team health.

What Servant Leaders DO Differently in a 1:1
Servant leaders don’t run 1:1s—they facilitate them. Here’s the shift:
- Your team member owns the agenda. You add items only after they’ve spoken.
- You listen more than you talk. Aim for a 70/30 ratio.
- You ask coaching questions instead of giving directives (see the list below).
- You take accountability for follow-through. If you commit to escalating an issue or securing budget, you do it.
- You create space for the hard stuff—burnout, impostor syndrome, team conflict, career doubts.
In remote and hybrid IT teams, this approach compensates for the lack of hallway conversations. You’re deliberately engineering connection.
The 30–45 Minute Servant-Leader 1:1 Agenda
Use this flexible template and adjust time boxes based on the conversation:
0–5 min: Personal check-in (How are you, really? How’s the on-call week treating you?)
5–20 min: Team member’s agenda (blockers, concerns, ideas, feedback for you)
20–30 min: Coaching and problem-solving (explore one challenge deeply using questions below)
30–40 min: Growth and development (skill gaps, career goals, learning opportunities)
40–45 min: Your items + action commitments (document next steps)
This isn’t rigid. If they need 40 minutes to work through incident response fatigue, give it to them.

The 1 on 1 Meetings for the Servant Leader Checklist
Before the Meeting
- Review notes from the last 1:1 and confirm follow-through on your commitments.
- Check project boards, incident logs, and sprint progress for context.
- Block the full time—no multitasking during the call.
- Ask the team member to add agenda items in your shared doc 24 hours ahead.
During the Meeting
- Start with a genuine personal check-in (listen for energy shifts or stress signals).
- Let them lead the agenda; add your items only after theirs.
- Ask open-ended coaching questions and practice active listening (paraphrase, validate).
- Identify and document one blocker you’ll personally remove.
- Explore one growth opportunity (training, stretch project, shadowing).
- Agree on clear action items with owners and deadlines.
After the Meeting
- Update your shared notes doc within 2 hours while details are fresh.
- Follow through on your commitments within the agreed timeline.
- Send a quick Slack/email summary if actions involve others.
- Reflect: What did you learn? What will you adjust next time?
Coaching Questions and Prompts
Use these to unlock insight without dictating solutions:
- What’s the biggest blocker slowing you down this week?
- If you could change one thing about our process, what would it be?
- What are you learning right now that excites you?
- Where do you feel stuck, and what support would help?
- What feedback do you have for me as your leader?
- If this project fails, what’s the most likely cause?
- What’s one decision you’re wrestling with?
- How’s your workload feeling—sustainable or overwhelming?
- What’s a recent win you’re proud of?
- What skill do you want to develop in the next 6 months?
- Who on the team should I be recognizing or supporting more?
- What’s one thing I should stop doing?
- If you were leading this team, what would you do differently?
- What’s draining your energy, and what’s giving you energy?
- How can I better support you in [specific area]?
Rotate these. Don’t interrogate—converse.

Common Mistakes and How to Fix Them
Mistake: Canceling or rescheduling frequently.
Fix: Treat 1:1s as sacred. Rescheduling signals they’re low priority.
Mistake: Turning it into a status meeting.
Fix: Get status async. Use the 1:1 for what Slack can’t solve.
Mistake: Dominating the conversation with your agenda.
Fix: Discipline yourself to listen first. Add your items last.
Mistake: Forgetting to follow through on commitments.
Fix: Track action items in a shared doc and review them at the start of each session.
Mistake: Avoiding difficult conversations.
Fix: Lean into discomfort. Address underperformance, burnout, or conflict directly but with empathy. Radical Candor works when you care personally.
Remote/Hybrid 1:1 Tips for IT Teams
Distributed IT teams need extra intentionality:
- Turn cameras on when possible to read body language and build connection.
- Use a shared running doc (Google Docs, Notion, Confluence) so both of you can add items and track history.
- Start with informal chat—ask about weekend plans, hobbies, or family. This replaces watercooler moments.
- Vary the format occasionally—walking 1:1s (audio-only), virtual coffee chats, or pair programming sessions.
- Be mindful of time zones and fatigue. Don’t default to early mornings or late evenings for global teams.
Building trust in remote teams requires consistency, not proximity.
Metrics That Matter (Without Turning It into Surveillance)
Track outcomes, not activity:
- Consistency: Are you holding 1:1s weekly/biweekly without cancellations?
- Follow-through rate: What percentage of your commitments are completed on time?
- Retention and engagement: Are team members staying and growing, or churning out?
- Feedback quality: Are people bringing real problems to you, or staying surface-level?
Avoid tracking “minutes talked” or “number of questions asked.” Those metrics kill trust. Focus on team engagement signals instead.
Conclusion
1 on 1 meetings for the servant leader are your most powerful lever for building trust, removing friction, and developing your IT team. They require discipline, humility, and follow-through—but the return is exponential. Engineers who feel heard and supported deliver better work, stay longer, and bring problems to you early instead of hiding them until they explode.
Start with the checklist above. Commit to weekly cadence. Listen more than you talk. And remember: servant leadership isn’t about being soft—it’s about being strong enough to put your team first.
FAQ
What are 1 on 1 meetings for the servant leader?
1 on 1 meetings for the servant leader are coaching-focused conversations where the leader prioritizes the team member’s agenda, removes blockers, and fosters growth—rather than extracting status updates.
How long should 1 on 1 meetings for the servant leader meeting be?
Aim for 30–45 minutes weekly or biweekly. This gives enough time for meaningful coaching without overwhelming schedules, especially in fast-paced IT environments.
What’s the difference between a regular 1:1 and a 1 on 1 meetings for the servant leader?
Regular 1:1s often focus on project status. Servant-leader 1:1s flip control to the team member, emphasize listening and coaching, and prioritize removing obstacles and developing people.
How often should IT leaders hold 1 on 1 meetings for the servant leader?
Weekly for new hires, high-performers needing growth, or during high-stress periods (incidents, launches). Biweekly works for stable, experienced team members. Consistency matters more than frequency.
What should I avoid in 1 on 1 meetings for the servant leader?
Avoid canceling regularly, dominating the conversation, skipping follow-through on commitments, or using the time for tasks better suited to email or Slack. Avoid micromanagement disguised as coaching.
Can 1 on 1 meetings for the servant leader work for remote IT teams?
Yes. Remote servant-leader 1:1s thrive with shared running docs, video-on defaults, intentional relationship-building, and consistency. They’re even more critical in distributed teams where informal touchpoints are rare.
What coaching questions should servant leaders ask in 1 on 1 meetings for the servant leader?
Ask open-ended questions like “What’s blocking you?” “What feedback do you have for me?” “What are you learning?” and “How can I better support you?” Avoid yes/no questions or leading statements.
Chris "The Beast" Hall – Director of Technology | Leadership Scholar | Retired Professional Fighter | Author
Chris "The Beast" Hall is a seasoned technology executive, accomplished author, and former professional fighter whose career reflects a rare blend of intellectual rigor, leadership, and physical discipline. In 1995, he competed for the heavyweight championship of the world, capping a distinguished fighting career that led to his induction into the Martial Art Hall of Fame in 2009.
Christopher brings the same focus and tenacity to the world of technology. As Director of Technology, he leads a team of experienced technical professionals delivering high-performance, high-visibility projects. His deep expertise in database systems and infrastructure has earned him multiple industry certifications, including CLSSBB, ITIL v3, MCDBA, MCSD, and MCITP. He is also a published author on SQL Server performance and monitoring, with his book Database Environments in Crisis serving as a resource for IT professionals navigating critical system challenges.
His academic background underscores his commitment to leadership and lifelong learning. Christopher holds a bachelor’s degree in Leadership from Northern Kentucky University, a master’s degree in Leadership from Western Kentucky University, and is currently pursuing a doctorate in Leadership from the University of Kentucky.
Outside of his professional and academic pursuits, Christopher is an active competitive powerlifter and holds three state records. His diverse experiences make him a powerful advocate for resilience, performance, and results-driven leadership in every field he enters.





0 Comments