7 Ways to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence

Sep 15, 2025 | Best Practices

By Christopher Hall

7 Ways to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence

Why Emotional Intelligence Is Critical in Leadership

7 Ways to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence – In today’s fast-paced, interconnected world, technical skills and knowledge are no longer enough. Leaders are expected to navigate complex human dynamics, shifting expectations, and increasingly diverse and hybrid work environments. Emotional intelligence (EQ or EI) has emerged as one of the most important differentiators between good and great leadership.

Here are several reasons why emotional intelligence is so essential for leadership success:

  1. Better decision-making under pressure
    Leaders face decisions that impact not only operations but people. Without emotional intelligence, stress, fear, or bias can cloud judgment. An emotionally intelligent leader can recognize their internal state, regulate their response, and make clearer, more balanced decisions even under high stakes. Harvard Division of Continuing Education notes the importance of self-awareness as the foundation for emotional intelligence. Harvard DCE
  2. Improved communication and feedback
    Emotional intelligence enhances a leader’s ability to deliver feedback in a way that motivates rather than demoralizes. It also helps in interpreting nonverbal cues—tone, body language—in oneself and others. When communication is anchored in empathy and self-regulation, teams feel listened to, supported, and trusted. Cleveland Clinic+2Harvard Business School Online+2
  3. Stronger relationships, trust, and team cohesion
    Leaders high in EI tend to foster environments of psychological safety, where team members feel safe to speak up, share ideas, and even fail without fear. This builds trust, which in turn supports collaboration, creativity, and loyalty. Research from Forbes emphasizes how emotional intelligence shapes organizational culture and success. Forbes
  4. Conflict resolution and empathy
    Conflicts are inevitable in any organization. Emotional intelligence equips leaders with the ability to empathize, see multiple perspectives, and defuse tension before it escalates. Rather than ignoring or suppressing emotions, EI recognizes them, validates them, and manages them constructively. scienceofmind.org+2Cleveland Clinic+2
  5. Improved adaptability in uncertain environments
    Change, disruptions, and ambiguity are part of business today. Leaders with high EI are better able to adapt – emotionally and cognitively – to evolving challenges. They are more resilient, better at managing their own emotional reactivity, and can guide teams through transitions with calm, clarity, and openness. Edstellar+2Cleveland Clinic+2
  6. Higher employee engagement, performance, and retention
    When leaders show emotional intelligence, team members tend to feel more valued, supported, and understood. That drives engagement, satisfaction, and loyalty, which reduces turnover. Organizations with emotionally intelligent cultures generally see better productivity and lower burnout. Edstellar+2Harvard Business School Online+2
  7. Leadership authenticity and influence
    Emotional intelligence helps leaders align actions with values, showing up authentically. Authenticity increases trust, credibility, and influence. Leaders who know themselves (their triggers, values, emotions) and can manage their behavior accordingly inspire others to follow. Harvard DCE+1

Given these benefits, it’s clear why many leadership development programs place emotional intelligence at their core. If you want to lead well, increase your emotional intelligence is not just a nice notion—it’s a strategic imperative.

For more insights, you can see resources and leadership development guidance at IT Leadership Hub ↗️ [itteadershiphub.com] (this is also beneficial if you are looking to deepen your leadership skills).


7 Ways to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence
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7 Ways to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence

If you’re ready to strengthen your emotional intelligence and become a more effective leader, here are 7 actionable ways to do so. These methods are drawn from current research and best practices.

  1. Develop Self-Awareness
    • Journaling: Regularly write about your emotional responses during the day. What triggered you? How did you respond? What internal thoughts or beliefs influenced your reaction? Over time, patterns will emerge.
    • Mindfulness and reflection: Practices like meditation or quiet reflection help you notice emotions as they arise, rather than reacting unconsciously. Harvard’s research shows that many people think they are self-aware, but far fewer truly are. Harvard DCE
    • Use assessments and feedback loops: Seek feedback from peers, mentors, or a coach about how you come across, what your strengths and blind spots are.
  2. Practice Self-Regulation
    • Learn to pause before reacting. When stress or strong emotion hits, take a breath, give yourself a few seconds to think.
    • Use techniques like breathing exercises, visualization, or physical movement to calm your nervous system when needed.
    • Cultivate patience and impulse control; recognize that calm responses build trust and credibility.
  3. Cultivate Empathy
    • Actively listen: give others your full attention, ask clarifying questions, and aim to understand both what they say and how they feel.
    • Perspective-taking: try to imagine what someone else is experiencing: their background, pressures, blind spots.
    • Seek diverse perspectives: interact with people from different cultures, walks of life, or vantage points. Exposure widens emotional awareness.
  4. Improve Social Skills
    • Work on communication skills: clarity, tone, body language, and timing. Be aware of nonverbal cues in both yourself and others.
    • Practice giving and receiving feedback effectively: avoid blame, use “I” statements, focus on behavior rather than person, and express care about outcomes.
    • Build conflict resolution skills: learning how to mediate, how to de-escalate, and how to find win-wins whenever possible.
  5. Motivate Yourself (Intrinsic Motivation)
    • Set personal goals aligned with your values—not merely external success. Leaders who are emotionally intelligent often find deeper meaning in their work.
    • Maintain a growth mindset: view failures or setbacks as opportunities to learn rather than proof of inadequacy.
    • Celebrate small wins and progress; this builds momentum and self-confidence.
  6. Practice Emotional Regulation and Stress Management
    • Recognize early signs of emotional hijacks or dysregulation (e.g. heart rate, tension, irritability) and develop strategies to manage them.
    • Use relaxation techniques (deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness) to down-regulate stress when it arises.
    • Avoid suppressing emotions entirely; instead, allow yourself to feel and process emotions in healthy ways, perhaps through reflection or conversation.
  7. Seek Feedback and Continuous Learning
    • Ask trusted colleagues, mentors, or coaches how they perceive your emotional strengths and blind spots. Be open to hearing things you might not initially like.
    • Read books/articles on emotional intelligence. Authors like Daniel Goleman, Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves and others provide frameworks and exercises.
    • Take workshops, attend training or coaching that target EI components. Learning with others often accelerates growth.
    • Practice intentionally: put yourself in situations that test your emotional intelligence (e.g. giving tough feedback, mediating conflict, leading under pressure), and afterwards reflect on what worked and what didn’t.

7 Ways to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence
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Practical Steps & Tools

To make the above more tangible, here are some tools and steps you can integrate immediately into your leadership practice to increase your emotional intelligence:

  • Daily emotional check-ins: At the start or end of your day, write down how you felt during key moments. What triggered you? What went well? What surprised you?
  • Mindfulness or meditation: Even 5-10 minutes a day helps. Apps like Headspace, Calm, or Insight Timer can support this.
  • Active listening exercises: For example, in a conversation, focus only on listening without thinking of a reply, then reflect back what you heard.
  • Emotion vocabulary expansion: Learn more precise emotion words beyond “happy/sad/angry” to help you and others express feelings more accurately.
  • Regular feedback loops: Ask for feedback from team members on your leadership style, especially how well you handle emotion and communication.
  • Leadership communities: Join groups, forums, or organizations that focus on leadership development and emotional intelligence. For example, leadership hubs such as IT Leadership Hub offer resources, peer discussions, and learning content that can help you grow.

Why “Increase Your Emotional Intelligence” Should Be a Priority

SEO and strategy aside, raising your EQ isn’t just about being nicer. For leaders, increasing emotional intelligence leads to measurable benefits:

  • Better retention, lower turnover, because employees feel supported and understood.
  • A more resilient organization, capable of navigating crises and ambiguity.
  • More innovation, because emotionally safe environments allow people to take risks and share ideas.
  • Higher performance overall: teams with emotionally intelligent leaders often outperform in productivity, engagement, and customer satisfaction. Evidence from studies (e.g. TalentSmart, cited in various leadership guides) shows EQ correlates strongly with job performance. Edstellar+2Harvard Business School Online+2

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Common Misconceptions & Barriers

While there are benefits, increasing your emotional intelligence isn’t always easy. Here are some common barriers and misconceptions:

  • Misconception: Emotional intelligence is innate & static – In reality, while some may start with stronger emotional awareness or regulation, EI is a set of skills that can be developed over time. Cleveland Clinic+1
  • Barrier: Lack of self-awareness – If you don’t recognize your emotional blind spots, you can’t address them. Feedback and reflection are essential.
  • Barrier: Culture or environmental constraints – If your organization actively discourages emotional openness or vulnerability, it may be harder to practice EI. But even small changes at the individual leader level can ripple outward.
  • Misconception: Being emotional means being soft or weak – Actually, using emotion well requires strength, discipline, and authenticity. Emotional regulation, empathy, and vulnerability often underlie trust and influence.

Conclusion

Leadership today demands more than technical expertise or transactional management. To lead well, you must increase your emotional intelligence. The capacity to understand yourself and others, to regulate emotion, communicate with clarity, and build authentic relationships is foundational to sustainable, high-impact leadership.

By deliberately practicing self-awareness, exemplifying self-regulation, cultivating empathy, honing social skills, motivating yourself, managing stress, and seeking feedback, you can raise your EQ. The process isn’t always smooth—but the payoff in team morale, performance, adaptability, and culture is profound.

If you’d like more in-depth guides, discussions, or tools for leadership and emotional intelligence, be sure to check out the resources at IT Leadership Hub.


References & Further Reading

  • Why Emotional Intelligence Is Crucial For Effective Leadership — Forbes Forbes
  • 12 Ways To Improve Emotional Intelligence — Cleveland Clinic Cleveland Clinic
  • How To Improve Emotional Intelligence — Simply Psychology Simply Psychology
  • Behavioral science and organizational outcomes tied to emotional intelligence — Harvard, EdStellar, etc. Edstellar+1

Chris "The Beast" Hall – Director of Technology | Leadership Scholar | Retired Professional Fighter | Author

Chris "The Beast" Hall is a seasoned technology executive, accomplished author, and former professional fighter whose career reflects a rare blend of intellectual rigor, leadership, and physical discipline. In 1995, he competed for the heavyweight championship of the world, capping a distinguished fighting career that led to his induction into the Martial Art Hall of Fame in 2009.

Christopher brings the same focus and tenacity to the world of technology. As Director of Technology, he leads a team of experienced technical professionals delivering high-performance, high-visibility projects. His deep expertise in database systems and infrastructure has earned him multiple industry certifications, including CLSSBB, ITIL v3, MCDBA, MCSD, and MCITP. He is also a published author on SQL Server performance and monitoring, with his book Database Environments in Crisis serving as a resource for IT professionals navigating critical system challenges.

His academic background underscores his commitment to leadership and lifelong learning. Christopher holds a bachelor’s degree in Leadership from Northern Kentucky University, a master’s degree in Leadership from Western Kentucky University, and is currently pursuing a doctorate in Leadership from the University of Kentucky.

Outside of his professional and academic pursuits, Christopher is an active competitive powerlifter and holds three state records. His diverse experiences make him a powerful advocate for resilience, performance, and results-driven leadership in every field he enters.

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